The Difference Between Those Who Succeed And Those Who Don’t

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I talk with a lot of people who want big things out of life. Whether it’s my own clients, or my own coaches, or my peers. I also follow a lot of people online through various Facebook groups, websites, blogs, and twitters. Travellers. Entrepreneurs. Adventurers. They run the gamut of successful, and not-so-much.

And it’s become really, insanely clear to me exactly what the difference is between those who make their big dreams happen, and those who don’t.

 

The difference between the guy who keeps saying he wants to sell his house and buy a round the world plane ticket, and the guy who actually does it.

The difference between the coach who is still struggling to get clients, and the one who makes 6-figures from her business.

The girl who complains about her soul sucking job every single day but doesn’t do a thing to change it, and the girl who quits jobs left and right, never settling on anything that doesn’t make her happy.

 

What’s the difference between people who “make it” and those who sit back, watching those people in total envy? What’s their dirty little secret?

 

Confidence.

 

That’s it.

People who make their dreams happen BELIEVE that what they want is possible. Sure, they feel fear, and self-doubt, and uncertainty, but somewhere deep inside, they KNOW that they can make it happen. So they don’t get sucked into believing all the crap that the voices in their heads throw their way.

And sure, there’s a little more that goes into it than just confidence.

If you’re building a business, you MUST learn sales and marketing. But the people who believe it’s possible, they don’t mind investing in their business.

And if you wanna travel the world with nothing but a backpack, you’re going to need to do some planning. But the people who eventually get there don’t mind going through the nitty gritty steps, because they KNOW it’s going to pay off.

 

I know this sounds like hullhonkey. You might be thinking I’ve gone all woo-woo on your ass. Kinda like this.

 

 

life-coach

 

 

For the record – that’s not what I’m saying. It’s not about the law of attraction or simply thinking really hard about what you want and having it magically appear at your doostep. What I’m saying is that the very first step, the Most Important Thing, is believing that it’s possible (and if thinking really hard about what you want, or using the law of attraction helps you do that, cool, have at it).

 

Because when you believe that it’s possible, you put in the effort and take the steps to get there.

 

Simple as that. Mindset leads to consistent action, which leads to you doing whatever you need to do to get “there”

Ask yourself, right now, “Do I really believe that I can have whatever I want?”

And if the answer is no (or a head scratching schmaybe?), you might wanna check in on what you believe, and get really super clear about why, exactly, you don’t think you can have it.

 

Need help sorting it out and boosting your confidence? Here’s where to start:

1. Surround yourself with people who “get it”. Immerse yourself in blogs and websites of people who are doing what you want to do. Talk to people who have done it. Research your brains out, and create a support structure that actually helps you see that what you want IS possible.

2. Get really clear about the voices in your head that tell you it’s not possible. Take note of exactly what they are saying, and when. Start to learn to pay attention to the voice, and think of it as a separate part of you, one that you can shoo away by will when it starts bringing you down. Even just recognizing that this voice is there and what it’s saying is a great step to help you learn to NOT listen to it.

3. Work with me for 3 months. My clients leave feeling like they can do it, like their dreams are easy, and often, they leave having accomplished in 3 months what they’ve wanted to do their entire lives. My clients write the books they’ve wanted to write since they were 10 (and get it done in 8 weeks… I’m not joking). They quit the jobs they’ve hated for years. They start their websites. They get their first clients. They book the plane tickets. They get shit DONE.

 

You’ve totally got this. I promise. I was exactly where you were, wishing I could build an online business, but procrastinating on getting started because I didn’t have the right mindset about it. I see this ALL the time with my clients, and people who email me through Uncaged, and watching other business owners, and working with my own coaches.

It’s ALL about mindset. Everything.

So breathe a sigh of relief. You’re not missing out on some secret that will help you get there.

This is the only magic success formula out there that works.

 

Screen shot 2013-02-15 at 8.24.14 AM

 

 

Read 9 Comments & Leave Yours

  1. Steve

    I love your message here. Confidence is necessary to get where you want to go. I can think back to many instances when I was really uncertain about if I was going to succeed or not. But I pushed through it and gather up my courage and belief in myself. Those are the times when I would make it happen.

    Surrounding yourself with the right people is good advice too. And you don’t necessarily need to know them personally. Read what they’ve written. If they’ve done what you want to do, they know how to achieve. Makes sense to me.

  2. Great advice. Confidence is key – now I just need to work on ignoring that voice! Thanks!

  3. Gargi Kapoor

    Awesome post! I mean it’s kind of like that saving hand when you are drowning in the water. Thx Becca for this post I dnt knw why but I think that that’s your destination of life. Making people happy, believe. As I think that earth is the playground and we are all playing our roles and struggling for destination. Thanks Becca. I have added new thing in my To Do’s list and that is I want to meet you at least once in my life. :)

  4. Joy

    I *love* the graphic! And, I love the overall message! My answer was going to be “they live it”; I remind myself I am living my dream, and if I’d like more depth or range, simply add more presence to it!

  5. Rebecca

    I really love your point about not needing to know those people personally. Read books and blogs – you can get a wealth of great info from then for free, and they often do make your dreams feel validated

  6. Rebecca

    Instead of ignoring it try paying attention to it for just long enough to actually name it. Give it a persona. Make it a separate part from YOU. THEN you learn not only to ignore it, but to actively tell it to go away!

  7. Rebecca

    Thanks Gargi!

  8. Rebecca

    Haha, the image is hilarious! And funny how true it can be in the coaching world. Not my world though.. I’m all about half attitude, half action!

  9. Dave

    Hi Rebecca,

    First off, just want to say I love your site. Found it while searching for Mercedes Maidana and hit upon your interview with her. Instant subscriber.

    On the topic of confidence, I couldn’t agree more. I have been through some serious personal transformation, both mental and physical, and the one thing that seems to drive my success is the renewed confidence I have in everything I do. Sometimes that confidence is organic, and other times it’s self-manifested, but no matter what, whenever I have faith in myself and my actions, I feel powerful beyond measure, welcome any challenges, and almost regret that there are only 24 hours in a day for me to accomplish my goals.

    Thanks for helping me remember that about myself.