Figure It Out Friday: I Don’t Even Know What My Ideal Life Looks Like. Help!

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‘Figure It Out Friday’ is a new weekly blog series where you submit your questions and struggles about designing your Uncaged career – and I give you my straight up advice. Because sometimes you just want someone to tell you what to do.

Question:

I would love some specific questions to ask myself about what my ideal Uncaged life looks and feels like. My dreams are still vague and I am seeking to define my target…of course knowing that it can and will evolve. Thanks!

Answer:

This is such a great question and something so many people struggle with. All the “Live Your Dreams” propaganda that is flying rampant around the internet doesn’t really mean anything if you have no idea what you even want in life.

And my dirty little secret is that even I, the Uncaged Life girl, don’t have a clear vision of what I want my life to look like.

 

So first thing’s first – take the pressure off  yourself to have it all figured out.

 

 

Some people have a super clear vision of exactly where they want to live and what kind of work they want to be doing, and some of us simply have a sense of how we want to feel on an ongoing basis.

For example, for me, I know that I need to always have the ability to work on my own schedule, and to change my mind. Some days I want to go lay in a park and do nothing, and some days I want to sit in front of my computer for 12 hours and work my face off. I could never have a job working for someone else unless it gave me that flexibility. It’s one of my core values.

And that’s exactly what you want to be super clear on – your values. I don’t have a super good definition of values, other then that they are the things that make your life feel really good when you’re honoring them, and when you step on them or ignore them, things feel crappy.

I wrote a post about figuring out your values a while back. I would highly recommend you go read that now, then pop back here.

 

Once you know your values, it becomes way easier to direct your life choices.  And figuring it out becomes not so much about what you will DO, but more about knowing how you want to feel.

 

Because when you think about it, let’s say you want to go live on a beach in Thailand and sip slushy drinks all day. When you really break that down and dissect it into pieces, what is it that you’re really wanting? It’s likely that you want to feel relaxed, maybe even pampered. You want to feel free. And you definitely want to feel uninhibited (hence the slushy drinks… keep ’em coming).

So then, once you know all of that, you can have a look at your life right now, and ask yourself “How can I feel more free, and pampered, and relaxed right now in my life”. And then you can make that happen. And that way, if you never get to Thailand, you can still have the life you want, right there in your very own city.

Danielle Laporte has actually packaged up this concept and created a fantastic online course to help you dive deeper into your core desired feelings/values.

So that’s where I’d start. If you have no idea what you actually want your life to look like, figure out what you want it to feel like, and then get to work on creating it NOW.

What you actually do with your life is just a vehicle for giving you a certain feeling, for honoring certain values. So you might never have it all figured out, and you can still have an awesome life.

Isn’t that kind of refreshing!?

I’d love to hear from you. If you have no idea what you want to do with your life, can you at least narrow down how you want to feel? Tell us in the comments below.

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Read 1 Comment & Leave Yours

  1. KarenTaggart

    “What you actually do with your life is just a vehicle for giving you a certain feeling, for honoring certain values” Love that! It helps move me toward getting unstuck in figuring out what biz to start. Thanks!